home...

I am now back in the good ol' USA. Emily Dickinson said "where thou art, that is home." While I had an absolutely incredible time abroad, I tend to disagree. I loved Thailand. Chiang Rai was my home, but there were times along the way that I didn't feel quite as comforted and secure. Sometimes, though, I think that feeling of excitement and danger helps us a long. There's a saying by Cesar Cruz, which states "comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." I think there is truth inherent in that order. Sometimes we get too comfortable in our lives. We don't challenge ourselves or each other, but we can grow through exploration.

On this trip, I learned about myself and about how I can adapt to new situations. I love planning, but after many trips "we find... that we do not take a trip, a trip takes us." I think John Steinbeck had a good point. We can prepare as much as we like, but if we're true to our purpose of the adventure, it leads us. We should let, as Anatole Francis calls it, "this sensual yearning for knowledge, this insatiable wanderlust, this long desire" capture us and take us hold. We live in a world filled with adventure, beauty, and chaos. We should explore it. Embrace it. Feel it.

captivated by Cambodia...

We started early in the morning in Phnom Penh and headed first to the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek. It was a deeply saddening place. The most distressful part of the visit was seeing the clothes of the victims come up from the ground because of the rains. Near the mass graves, there was the killing tree. Democratic Kampuchea soldiers would smash babies against this tree to kill them. It was horrific, but William Wordsworth said "we will grieve not, rather find / Strength in what is left behind." The museum left behind honors these victims and their remembrance should bring us strength. In the fields, there are a disproportionate number of butterflies. The Cambodian people say that the butterflies are the renewed souls of the victims. They were finally set free from oppression after death. As Cormac McCarthy said, "all things of grace and beauty... have a common provenance in pain." Though their lives finished with suffering, their souls are gracefully dancing through the fields. We went, next, to the Tuol Sleng Prison Genocide Museum. Although it was not organized or decorated, the simplicity and barrenness were representative of the prison itself. As you walked around the cells, you could see the splattered blood of the prisoners on the walls and floors. It was quite the dreary morning.

I ate lunch at "Friends," an NGO restaurant/ school that employs and trains street children. After lunch, I sat by the Mekong for awhile. While I was sitting on the bench reading, a preteen boy came up and asked if I wanted to buy a book. I told him I already had one and looked back down. He was still there, so I glanced back upwards. He proceeded to ask me if I wanted marijuana, opium, or cocaine. I was bewildered; he was only a child. I sent him on his way, but I wonder if there is anything I could have done. I wandered the Royal Palace, whose grounds were massive and quite beautiful. Nearby, was the National Museum, which I explored for a few hours. We took the "five hour" bus ride to Siem Reap, which took almost eight; then, we settled into our hostel.

The next day, we took our first adventure into Angkor Wat. Before we left the hostel, we were told it was a holy day, and to wear long sleeves and pants. It was sweltering outside, but we obliged. We went to a few crumbling temples, and we thought they were incredible. Our driver told us that these were some of the minor temples. What?! We also learned some interesting information: evidently, we did not need to wear long clothes. Oh, bother. Instead of facing another several hours baking in the suit in my linen pants and long-sleeved shirt, I bought more weather-appropriate clothes from our restaurant. In the late afternoon, there were three brothers. The six year old was Nga and the twin eleven year olds were Dey and Nee. They were exploring these abandoned temples and running in the jungles surrounding. They showed us around the temples and I was sad to say goodbye to them and their mom (who had ten kids)! On the way out, we saw the sunset over Angkor Wat. I knew then that waking up at 4am to see the sunrise would definitely be worth it.




















The next morning came almost unbearably early, but we decided to follow A.E. Hausman's order: "up, lad; when the journey's over / there'll be time enough for sleep." We forgot a flashlight, so we tripped and stumbled through the first temple before we settled by the pond in front of the Great Temple. The sunrise over Angkor Wat was breathtaking, but brief. When it was almost finished rising, Andrea and I hurried into the Great Temple. There were less than a dozen people inside the Wat. It was superb! After exploring for a few hours, we sat and relaxed on a nearby temple. I even nodded off for a few minutes. We headed next to Ta Prohm, which is atop a hill. The walk up the mountain was easy; the steps to the actual temple, however, were not nearly as simple. You were forced to walk sideways up the stairs, and the width of your foot is nearly too much. Once we stood looking over all the temples, we breathed in the astounding view. We did our best to "stuff [our] eyes with wonder... see the world," because Ray Bradbury was right that "it's more fantastic than any dream." On our way down the mountain, we noticed a man playing a beautiful melody with a set of bongos and a blade of grass. We, then, explored the grand expanse of the Temples of Angkor Thom. We wandered through the jungles and admired the ancient trees and stone temples. When we came upon Angkor Thom, we were awestruck. It was massive and filled with huge and intricate carved faces; there were dozens and each were different. I sometimes forget when I'm looking at beautiful monuments, how they came to be so beautiful. It was painful for me, when I occassionally saw monks kneeling with their heads bowed and hands clasped in reverence, to see Farangs like me taking disprespectful pictures and talking loudly. I'm sure that, I too, am guilty of this. People use this temple to meditate and honor Buddha. This sacred ground deserves more respect.
























That night, we saw an Aspara dancing show. Their costumes were gorgeous; when they moved gently, almost dreamlike, they told such interesting stories. We left the next morning on a bus to Bangkok saying goodbye to the beautiful people and fascinating history.

venturing through Vietnam...

We arrived on Vietnam soil after the most painful customs process I have ever been a part of. We were pushed into an airport shuttle; we asked to be taken to the train station so we could buy our tickets for the night train for Danang. Our flight arrived into Hanoi in the early afternoon, so we assumed we would have some time before the 11pm night train. One of the first things you will learn about traveling is that things don't always work out as planned. The traffic in Hanoi is insane. Actually insane. Our shuttle bus hit a moto, and we didn't even stop to check on the riders. The shuttle dropped us off "five minutes from the train station." We didn't really mind because we were ready to get out of that crazy van. Unfortunately, the five minute walk took us forty minutes. I had my oversized green backpack on, and because of the "crosswalks" unreliability, I found myself alone walking to the train station. I was even clipped by a moto when I was walking on the sidewalk! It was much too overwhelming for me after slow-moving Laos. When I walked into the train station and met Ashley and Andrea, I asked them if instead of wandering around the city, do you guys just want to get out of here. They readily agreed. When we sat in the train station waiting for our train, I chatted with a Vietnamese boy named Nam who was studying technology. He taught me some Vietnamese and gave me a better view of Vietnamese people than the streets of Hanoi. When we saw our beds on the train, we were shocked to see the top bunk. Can people fit up there? We decided we couldn't; Andrea and I squished into one.


We arrived in Danang quite well rested and ready to head to Hoi An. When I walked outside to hire a taxi, I was absolutely surrounded. There were ten taxi drivers around me. I somehow managed to keep my calm over their shouting and we loaded into the first SUV I had seen in awhile. We stopped at the Marble Mountains in Danang, and I am so glad for it. It was a beautiful mountain with incredible statues and temples. Also, everyone around me was speaking French. I was so glad that speaking French could be useful here!



Hoi An was an incredibly slow moving and delicious touristy town. The main tourist attraction is having clothes tailored for you. So mostly, we did that. We also explored the river and had the best food of our trip so far. We frequented this restaurant on Le Loi street. The real adventure happened two days later when we tried to leave the city. Our flight was initially scheduled for 830pm, but I received an e-mail the night before saying the flight had been pushed until midnight. That wasn't a problem; we just adjusted our airport drop-off time. At 8:25pm I checked my e-mail. It announced that the flight was changed back to its original time. Oops. After trying to call the airline, we realized the only thing we could do is take the half hour ride to the airport and go from there. When we arrived, there were six people total in the Danang Airport... including the three of us. That was definitely a bad sign. One of the men there had the airline's number, so we called him and he said that he would put us on the next flight out of there in the morning. We only needed to come back to the airport at 6:30 the next morning. We called our Hoi An hostel; they were fully booked that night. Oh my. Luckily, the man who lent us his phone, also owned a hotel. We were concerned that we were being scammed into the hotel, but without any other options we took a taxi there. It was a nice and cheap hotel. I guess we were wrong! After eating some admittedly sketchy street food, we went to sleep. The next morning went smoothly enough; we were on a plane toward Saigon before we knew it.

After checking in at the hostel, we went straight to the War Remnants Museum. I can't eloquently explain what it's like to walk into that museum as an American. From all the information I knew about the "American War" as they called it, I would have been opposed to it. However, I was not alive, nor did I take part in the strategy session in which the US decided to invade. The few hours I was in the museum, I felt guilty about a war that neither I nor anyone I'm close to pushed upon these people. They even had a translated version to the Declaration of Independence, which attempted to demonstrate the hypocrisy of our intervention. The museum told the story of Robert Capa, a photojournalist who was killed by a land mine in the war. John Mecklin, who was with him at the time, was told by a soldier that Capa's death "is a harsh way for America to learn. Evidently, America did not learn this harsh lesson.

After the stressful War Remnants Museum experience, we took a Vietnamese cooking class. My dad is the best cook I know, and he knows his Vietnamese food; so, I was quite excited to take this class to show him some exciting new recipes. We started by making a rose out of tomato peels, which is much harder than it sounds. For the appetizer, we made vegetable spring rolls; the soup was tomato cloud, and we made caramelized pork for the main dish. It was absolutely delicious! After dinner, we were surprised when they lined us up and told us we were going to take a test to earn our certificates. We were so scared, but we all answered our questions about how to make the meals and what spices to mix. After our class, we wandered the night market before we headed back to the hostel to pack for Cambodia.

lazy in Laos...

The border crossing in Laos was inconsequential and after only a bit of misdirection, we arrived at the hostel. The manager of the Amirid Hostel was great. As I walked up to him, he asked, "Amy, are you Amy?" When I told him yes, he developed an infectious grin and showed us to our room. On the way he taught us a few words in Laotian. We were all wiped out, but we managed to muster enough energy to head out to get dinner. After waiting for our food for almost two hours, we learned a very useful lesson-- make sure they have what you order. I ordered a dish that was on the menu, but unavailable. Instead of informing you that they don't have it, you will just wait until they find a way to give it to you. We fell asleep as soon as we got back to the room.

The next day, we wandered Huay Xai some, but mostly prepared for our bus to Luang Prabang leaving at 2pm. We boarded a 45 passenger bus that was supposed to be 13 hours long. It wasn't. I learned a great deal on this bus ride. I learned that you could become accustomed to almost any noise. Every corner our bus turned (every other minute), the driver did 5 loud honks. I learned that a 45 passenger bus can bottom out. It felt as though we were the first vehicle to happen upon this path through the mountains. I learned that no matter how long the drive, buses aren't required to stop for bathroom breaks. They would pull over every few hours and our bus would unload a dozen men to relieve themselves on the side of the road. There were no stops, however, which could be deemed useful for women. I learned that when you look out the windows and it doesn't seem like you are close to your destination, you probably are right. The thirteen hour bus ride ended up taking sixteen.

We arrived at 6am and slept. Aldous Huxley said "your true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty-his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure.” We made this our motto of our time in Laos. The first day, we went to this wonderful place aptly named Utopia. We rented some books from a local bookstore and read as we looked over the Nam Tha River and Old Bridge. We ate, relaxed, and took in the beauty of the view at Utopia. The next day, we rented bikes and rode around historic Luang Prabang. We explored the National Museum and Wat Xieng Thong. Then, we were back at Utopia for the evening. We saw Phu Si Hill and wandered the windy streets along the Mekong River. The next morning, we woke up early to experience the giving of the alms with the monks. It was such a beautiful, yet simple expression of faith by the Laos people. We went to the fruit market and meandered back to the hostel before we headed to Vietnam.

goodbyes...

My last few weeks in Thailand were a blur of finishing projects and saying goodbye to the people I called my brothers and sisters and the country I called my home. About a week before I left, we finished up the square foot gardens with the Ayui Foundation. The kids were all so excited to finish mixing up the dirt and to plant their seeds. After we finished planting, I joked and played around with the kids. When it was time to go, I resisted. I wanted to stay at our gardens and play games, but the project was finished. We had one more day of computer and economics lessons that I could look forward to. The lessons went really well. There were more laughs and hugs than usual, but they were mostly the same. After the lessons, the girls performed an Akha dance for us. It was beautiful. Whenever my eyes are opened to a culture, I feel my heart widen along with it.

I went for the first and only time to teach English at soccer school. The kids were sweet and it was quite fun. That afternoon for the soccer tournament, it was so much more fun when I knew the kids who we were playing against. It was fascinating to see their dynamic on the field in comparison to their dynamic in class. The team captain was the most popular kid in the class. When we would ask questions, everyone looked to him to see the answer. They learned about how to describe their friends in one class session; every student wrote about him. The soccer tournament was so much fun and these kids were giving it there all. In the end, they ended up beating us 4-2. They were so excited that it was hard not to be happy that they won!



I also went one last time to the Samah Mit Community to the Watch Tower. The people in the community are like a family. They eat together and work together and drink together. We went the last time to plant trees. It was a way to symbolize our partnership and say goodbye. A part of me will always be in that village because I planted there. Many of my last couple days were spent at the Chiang Rai Regional Hospital. We finished the overflow room and I went to Pediatrics a few times. One day in the overflow room, they were showing the handwashing video. It was so funny to watch everyone's reactions when they matched the Farang in the video with the Farang in the room with them. I said goodbye to the kids in Pediatrics and the staff that worked there. I even did medical supplies one last time.

The saddest goodbye was undoubtedly my last time in the Akha village. Dr. Dum, Ayu, and Laum Chai had become my dear friends. They welcomed me into their community with open arms and open hearts, and I was leaving them. When I said goodbye to Laum Chai he didn't understand I was going away. When I told him I was leaving, he asked me "forever?" Initially, I started to chuckle at his question, but it occurred to me that, yes, I was leaving forever. I told him I was going back to America. At this point, this thirteen year old trickster looked up at me with sad eyes and asked "why?" I told him that I had to go back to finish school and to see my friends and family. He asked if I would come back to the village to see them. All I could say was "I hope so." I wished him "chok dee" (good luck) and went back home.


















I will never forget my summer spent in Northern Thailand. I will never forget the beauty of its surroundings, the kindness in the heart of its people, and the richness of its culture. My work here has reminded me to follow my passions in life. Howard Thurman said "don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is more people that have come alive." My time here has shown me what makes me come alive. Being with these people in their beautiful lives and working with them drives me; it inspires me; it keeps me going. I hope that my life continues to take me down this incredible path where I am able to do things that I love in incredible places.

my southern vacation...

The day after the eighth lunar month, the Buddhist monks participate in Khao Phansa day. It marks the beginning of the Buddhist lent period for monks where they stay in their temples for the three month rainy season. I did quite the opposite. I traveled far, along with Andrea, Ashley, Holly, and Ryleigh, to the beautiful beaches in southern Thailand.

The first bus ride of our trip took us to Chiang Mai where we boarded a plane for Phuket. We arrived in Phuket just after midnight and arrived at our hostel at around 1AM where we quickly went to sleep. The next morning, we wandered for a while and saw some cool Wats, a neat bridge, a watch tower, and a little of the city before we went to catch our ferry to Ko Phi Phi. I enjoyed the gorgeous ferry ride which I spent partly at the bow of the boat, we arrived at the paradise of Ko Phi Phi.

The waters were crystal turquoise, the sandy beach was a soft white, and the cliffs were filled with incredible forests. The first day we mostly laid around the beach until the evening when Andrea got this incredible elephant tattooed on her arm with bamboo. We woke up early the next morning to go snorkeling! We went to Maya Bay and some of the surrounding islands where we saw some fascinating fish and beautiful beaches. There was even a Monkey Island!

The next day we headed to the east side to Ko Phangan where we relaxed on its rocky beaches with the gorgeous sunsets. We, then, travelled to Krabi where we went hiking in the mountains of the national park. There were supposedly tigers in the mountains, but luckily a few monkeys were the limit to our excitement.

We headed back to Phuket to watch the sunrise at the Big Buddha in the morning. It was well worth the lack of sleep. It was a breathtaking view of the island and the sunrise was clear and colorful. A monk who served at the Wat at Big Buddha blessed us all and told us-- "happy, happy, happy and good luck!" It was a perfect end to a wonderful trip.